Suckiest vampires ever

12. Count von Count, 'Sesame Street'

Over three decades on “Sesame Street” and how many kids has the Count eaten? None! Not only is it disappointing, it’s just not realistic. We don’t know what kind of crackpot operation they’re running over there at PBS, but if they really want to teach kids something, give it a rest with the counting to ten. Have the Count take out a toddler a few times every season to keep America’s youth on their toes. It’s never too soon to learn vigilance.