Behind the bull

Zero out of three

Official criteria for judging the soap box racers are as follows, all three of which Producer would score very low on, specifically No. 3:

1) Creativity - It’s not enough that it actually moves. Outrageous is what the judges want. The preposterous. The ostentatious. Your soapbox should be an extension of you, so have fun when you design it. Be wild. Be crazy. Be anything you want. Just not ordinary.

2) Speed - Not to state the obvious, but this event is, first and foremost, a race. So the fastest one across the finish line is definitely going to be looked favorably upon. And you actually have to cross the finish line with the vehicle. Drivers will actually be racing against the clock. Not literally, of course. Clocks don't know how to drive soapbox cars. But winners will be selected, in part, based on their course times.

3) Showmanship - We said the first one to cross the finish line will be looked favorably upon. We didn’t say they’d win. Speed is nothing without a little personality. OK, a lot of personality. So wow the judges with your stage routine, impress with your charisma and of course, dazzle with your showmanship.