Percolated Places: Bump & Grind Cafe

Falling down the rabbit hole is now closed!

By Erica Boniface

Metromix

Clearly, when turning onto 17th Avenue from Lincoln in Denver, it’s reminiscent of falling through the rabbit hole, except this Technicolor gem is hopped up on a different kind of stimulant. If Alice wanted to leave behind her G rating and get hopped up on a little java, Bump & Grind Cafe would be her spot, sharing a cup of Joe with the Mad Hatter.

Upon walking in, the walls are mind-blowing; painted yellow with pink horizontal stripes, some painted pink with purple stripes, even some yellow with pink circles. One might expect to see the Dormouse helping behind the pastry counter. Where are the flamingo-croquet sets?

Further exploration of B&G draws attention to a curtain in the back with a huge, “Parental Advisory: Explicit Content” sign hanging on the wall with the bathroom sign underneath (it’s their clever way of showing the location of the Johns.) The counter is decked out with dinosaurs, a naked Barbie doll and other random trippy knickknacks, adding to the living espresso cartoon. You come in for coffee and end up feeling like you're smoking with the Caterpillar.

Every little nook has been used to create the delightfully chaotic atmosphere; they have even utilized the natural flaws in the building to their advantage by decorating it with crazy wall art and fabulous colors. The staff is solid in the coffee arts, but moreover will take the honest time to stop and chat. After working here, they probably have a Caterpillar contact high.

The entertainment is encompassing- the window seats are decked out with metal tables, which have large trees emerging from the mid-section. And a simple glance around fetches notice more Barbies, except these are still clothed and placed neatly in their boxes decorating an entire wall. Hmm… only one Ken doll?

When the coffee arrives, you’re jolted back to why you even came in the first place– it’s divine. The cream is delivered in a similar mug allowing you to choose the lightness or darkness of your beverage. The staff provides constant reminders to refill whenever you choose by using the coffee canisters by the bathrooms. Bottomless coffee, seriously.

For the munchies, try a “Nut Job,” scrumptious coconut macaroons, or a “Debbie Harry” a.k.a. “Blondies.” Go for a “Cereal Killer” as well, essentially a Rice Krispie treat filled with Lucky Charms and Fruit Loops– everything you used to dream about in grade school.

If pastries aren’t your thing, order some delicious delights from the kitchen. Try their Cheese Strada, a baked casserole with eggs, sausage, and cheddar cheese with sourdough. A possible reason behind the roundness of Tweedledee and Tweedledum?

Also, if it is not your “unbirthday” (meaning it actually is your birthday- if you followed that,) come celebrate here on the weekend. You will get treated to a fabulous drag queen lap dance with their packages covered in underoos shaped like animals. Maybe you’ll be joining the Mad Hatter’s tea party after all.

When you finish off your bottomless coffee (that’s possible in Wonderland, you know) and get up to leave, you hope the “Queen of Hearts” didn’t leave a nice parking ticket on your car. By the time you get to your car, you realize it wasn’t a dream at all and Bump & Grind really does exist, and thankfully so.



Bump & Grind Cafe
439 E. 17th Ave.
Denver, CO 80203
303-861-4841