'Crank: High Voltage' review

Living down to low expectations

By Geoff Berkshire

Posted April 17, 2009

Metromix

Last seen falling from a plane, bouncing off a car and landing face first on a Los Angeles street, the apparently indestructible Chev Chelios (Jason Statham ) has outlived the poison injected into his body that spurred the adrenaline-chasing antics of the original "Crank." But the poor guy still can't catch a break. Three months after his fall, Chev's miracle heart is removed by Chinese mobsters and replaced with an "Avicor artificial heart" that needs periodic bursts of electricity to keep pumping. Joining Statham for the return engagement are Amy Smart (as Chev's girlfriend Eve, now a stripper who spends half her screen time wearing only duct tape over her breasts), Dwight Yoakam and Efren Ramirez.

The buzz: Although the mildly clever first "Crank" brought in less than $30 million at the U.S. box office, someone seemed to think it needed a sequel. With the tagline "He was dead...but he got better" at least you know the movie isn't taking itself too seriously. Plus, cameos and supporting roles for the likes of Corey Haim, Bai Ling, Ron Jeremy and Geri Halliwell suggest the casting director was moonlighting from a gig at VH1.

The verdict: If your idea of quality entertainment is a steady diet of video games, porn and Mountain Dew commercials "Crank" wants your business! Cheerfully implausible and admirably honest about its status as braindead trash, this generally pointless sequel would've benefited from more inspiration and less desperation. The first time around, Chev had a clear mission and the "Jackass"-like filmmaking team of Neveldine and Taylor threw in enough curves to keep the story genuinely unpredictable. But rather than anything that might truly threaten the outrageousness of the original, "High Voltage" just offers lame variations on what we've already seen: more sex in public, graphically severed body parts and endless cursing in multiple languages. There's a lesson about diminishing returns buried somewhere in here, though it seems unlikely anyone will care enough to find it.

Did you know? Neveldine and Taylor brag that they made this film using cameras anyone could purchase from Best Buy. If only Best Buy sold decent scripts...