Inside: Dark Horse

The view from above: Big Boy gone mad and wagon wheels. The Dark Horse is the venue for an epic game of eye spy.

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There are a lot of people in this world. Along with all those people comes a lot of stuff. Keepsakes, mementos, antique wagon wheels, it all adds up. Which begs the question: Where the hell is a man supposed to display his World War II era gas mask, replica HMS Bounty or giant novelty lumberjack head? While some might be resigned to putting such priceless relics in storage, the enterprising pilots who mapped out the Dark Horse Bar & Grill decided to employ their disdain for gravity in the design of this Boulder watering hole.

Décor: There’s something slightly disconcerting about imbibing in the Dark Horse. Is it the crowd? No, they seem harmless. Is it the prices? No, they’re certainly fair. What could it be? Oh…maybe it’s the several hundred pound sleigh, old-timey Conestoga wagon or aforementioned giant novelty lumberjack head hanging precariously overhead. Fret not, though. According to the bar staff, in the 30 plus years since the Dark Horse was established, not a single toboggan, fire hose or 15-foot-cartoon-chef-holding-oversized-cheeseburger has ever fallen from the sky onto an unsuspecting patron. Though buying the actual wares might prove difficult (hint: they’re all attached to the ceiling), the contents of the bar are part Oregon Trail dry goods store and part Looney Tunes Acme emporium. So, if you break a wagon axle fording your way to the pool table you can most likely pick up a spare from off the wall. And don’t worry, the Wild West-era bank safes are all firmly fastened aloft.

Drinks: While the bar might scream banquet beer and whiskey from jugs marked XXX, the booze selection is quite high-brow. The wells are all well above average including Bacardi, Captain Morgan, Jim Beam and Jose Cuervo. Happy hour from 4 to 8 p.m. Monday through Friday features discounted drafts from a selection of Front Range microbrews and 2-for-1 mixed drinks.

Food: Known almost as much for its food as it's interior design tastes, the Dark Horse serves up Boulder's best burger, in several different styles. Check out the Jiffy Burger with peanut butter, bananas and provolone cheese; or the Fried Egg & Ham Burger with, not surprisingly, smoked ham and an egg fixed to order.
  
Crowd: During the day, the regular barflys make room for college students from the nearby CU dorms looking to stretch a dollar through the bar’s generous Starving Student Meal featuring the Dark Horse’s world famous burger, fries and beer or soda for $4.99. After 9 p.m. the bar switches to 21-plus, and the crowd can become a boisterous mixture of locals and of-age students.

Entertainment: There’s always something going on at the Dark Horse. Monday is Guitar Hero, Wednesday is Trivia, Thursday is Karaoke, Friday is Hip-Hop and Saturday sees live music take over the back bar. Adding to the Roger Rabbit Toontown feel, Tuesday sees grown men and women trying to navigate the crowded venue on a children’s tricycle. There's also 25 televisions, pool tables, air hockey, foosball and video games. Or you can just play an epic game of eye-spy.

Bottom line: A Boulder institution since 1975, the Dark Horse lives up to its name. Extremely unassuming from the outside (even with the large plastic buffalo over the doorway) once inside, the bar has more character than most. While scoring high on the kitsch appeal scale, the Dark Horse is genuine in its mission and manages to pull off the Western theme without seeming too sentimental or schmaltzy.

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